Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of the mindset corner. In today's episode, we're going to be looking at how to get what you want. Okay, so I'll level with you, I'm not really into that whole concept about how the universe delivers things to you, just because you think about them a lot. And you, you know, write them down and say them to yourself a lot. There's definitely a place for things like that. And if it works for you, fantastic. But for me, I really want to feel like things that I do, and the actions that I take can have an influence on the outcome. And I believe that achieving things in your life comes from taking specific actions, and also from having the right mindset. So today, I want to talk about both of those things. First, I just want to take a little step back and have a think about what's going on in our brains every day. So if you think of what's going on in your mind as being divided into conscious activities, and subconscious activities, or unconscious activities, you've got parts of, of what you do that is really conscious to you. So like when you decide you want to eat something, you want to pick something up, you're really conscious of what your brain is doing and all of those behaviors. And that's taking up around about five to 10% of the function of your brain. Meanwhile, the rest of your brain is kind of like, you know how an iceberg the part that you can see above the surface is about 10%. And actually most of the iceberg is underneath. And so it's kind of the same with your brain 90% of the activity that's going on is in that unconscious part. And that part of your brain is really goal oriented. So it will constantly be trying to achieve what you're telling it. And so you need to be kind of careful about what you do tell it? Are you setting yourself up for success? Or are you telling yourself things that are going to make it more difficult for you to achieve what you want. So what we need to understand is exactly how our unconscious mind is listening. Your unconscious mind is listening all the time. Every time you have a conversation with someone, every time you have a conversation with yourself, it's listening out for cues of what you want, so that it can help you get it. You know, if you're really hungry and you're lost in the bush, then your subconscious is going to be looking around constantly for food, water, even though you're just trudging along, you know, trying to find your way out of the bush, subconsciously, you've sent yourself some messages about what it is you're kind of looking for in the environment, and you'll be looking out for signs that will help you achieve the outcome. And the same thing happens when we're trying to achieve goals that are not quite so survival in nature. But if you want something, then you need to be really clear in the way that you talk to your brain about getting it. So if you say things to yourself, like, oh, today's gonna be a really hard day, there's a pretty good chance that it is going to be a hard day because it will certainly seem that way to you, your brain will constantly be looking for evidence of what you're telling it. So when bad things happen during the day, like you have a car accident, maybe you run up the back of someone, it can be very easy to think, Oh, this is a terrible situation, I knew today was going to be bad. Here it is. And, you know, I was right. In the same way, if you think today's gonna be a great day, and then you driving around and have a car accident, you sort of be looking around for what's good about this situation like, Oh, good, I'll miss that meeting. I didn't want to go do fencing in the morning. Or, oh, there's a really nice person driving this car, who's having a bad day, maybe I can make a difference for them. And so the way that you kind of prepare your mind then really leads to the outcomes that you've suggested. Your unconscious mind is kind of like a five year old. So it doesn't really understand, you know, really complex concepts. It's looking for really simple and straightforward things. So for example, like, I know, with my kids, if I don't want them to do something, I'll always say something like, don't jump on the couch. But an unconscious mind or small child is much more likely not to process negatives. And so all they really hear is jump on the couch. And then you're like I thought I just said not to jump on the couch. And it's almost like no one can understand why we're not on the same page. But realistically, that's the way that their brain is working at that time. And that's the same way that your subconscious mind is Working too. So if you're just focusing all the time on, I don't want to have a bad day, I don't want to feel anxious today, I don't want to let anyone down, then your brain is almost going to be looking for opportunities to do those things because it's not processing the don't. So all it's kind of hearing is like, I want to feel anxious, I want to have bad things happen to me. And again, then goes looking for all the evidence that those things are happening to you. So it's not that you're actually controlling what's going on necessarily, well, obviously, but you can definitely control the way that you react to it. And in the end, that's really all there is because your experience is always filtered through your own eyes, your own experience. And you're the one that wears the consequences of how you perceive things. So that was just a little bit of background, to help me in this discussion about how to get what you want. So the first part about getting what you want is actually deciding what you want, or I guess who you want to be. I think it's in James clears book atomic habits, which if you haven't read is amazing. And definitely check it out. He talks about how it's easy to form habits around identity and who you want to be rather than a specific goal. So instead of saying, like, I want to run a marathon, you think of yourself like I'm a marathon runner, and then it helps you to make other decisions in your life. They're aligned with that. So like, what a marathon runner eat this was a marathon runner, go out with friends after work? Or would they go to training like they committed? And so identity plays a big part. So first step is deciding what do you want? Or who do you want to be? Then you need to work out what steps are required to get there. Even if that's very granular. So the more granular, the better, because when you're deciding what steps you need to take in the background, you're also unintentionally or intentionally giving your brain some direction about what's important to you, and what to look for and deliver for you. So in a practical sense, there's something that I do every morning to try and set myself up for a great day. And that is to come up with three non negotiable things for the day. Sometimes, that's three things that I want to get done. Sometimes that's three ways I want to be. Sometimes it's a big mix, and a hodgepodge of my thoughts. But I'm always then through the day looking for opportunities to fulfill those goals. So for example, if I think I want to look for an opportunity to have an interesting conversation with someone today, then, when I'm wandering around, and someone asks me a question, I'm much more likely to then engage in that conversation, because I'm thinking, Oh, this is the conversation that I decided that I wanted to have today. But I don't think that the universe is producing that, I think that I'm producing that because by setting my intentions, then I'm able to notice the things that are in line with my goals. So three things every day, adds up pretty quickly. If you think about three things every day for seven days. That's 21 day as if my math is correct, have single small things to get you towards your goals and ensure that every day you're getting a little bit better and improving on areas you want to improve on. So for example, when I wanted to start recording an online course last year, I didn't really know much about how that process was going to work. But I just wrote down everything that I thought I needed to do in order to be successful, how I needed to think who I needed to be like, and then to think about specifically what tasks I needed to do. Like I need to record eight modules, I need to write a workbook, I need to plan the marketing, I need to do social media posts. And so all those things could be really overwhelming but broken down into just three tasks a day, I could really maintain my focus on those three things, and make sure that I was achieving just those things in keeping the smallest version of the goal in mind, which was not overwhelming, but really achievable for the day. So then at the end of a week, I would have done 21 thing is to move me towards my goal. And then you can imagine the effect of being able to do that over and over again, over months or a year. How easily could move towards your goals. So setting intentions at the start of the day has a few benefits. We've discussed the fact that it helps you to notice opportunities that are in line with your goals. But the other thing that it does, it helps you to be more productive. So if you come to a point in your day where you think, Okay, I'm finished, this is kind of this natural lol into the next part of the day, then it's like, Oh, that's right, these were the three things that I said I was going to do at the start of the day. And it makes ensures that you're productive and staying on track towards your bigger goals, even just through the day in small pockets of time. So when you're working on the smallest possible version of your goal, you don't have to review your big goal every single day, it might be helpful to have it up somewhere just to keep it in mind. But it really helps to break down into those super small steps to keep you on track without you even knowing. And so you don't kind of get ahead of yourself and freak yourself out into all of the steps that you have to go through to get where you want to go, you're just focusing on the next three things that you need to do. When I started the process of starting a podcast, I wrote down all the things that I wanted to get done in order to launch the podcast. And that was down to, I need to work out what kind of microphone I need, and all those kinds of things. And then put them into little groups so that whenever I had time, I had a few things to work on, that I knew would move the project forward. And as you start to work through your list of small things, you begin to build belief in yourself. So as you tick things off, you're proving to your brain, yes, I can do this. I'm already on the way I'm being successful already. And it creates this momentum. And as I said, the belief that you can do it. And that goes a huge way to be able to achieve your goals, especially if you're trying to make a big change in a short period. I definitely think of myself as a person who really loves challenges and loves surprising people. And so when the opportunity came up to travel around Australia for a year, I just look, I knew straightaway that that was something I wanted to do. And I think that's because I've set this intention in my brain that I'm looking for challenging situations, I'm looking for things that will make me think that will give me different experiences. And, you know, even a little bit of risk taking. It's part of that as well. So the idea of traveling Australia, pops out at me because I'm kind of scanning what's going on in the world. And I think oh, there's something that aligned with my goals. There's something, you know, I've decided that I'm someone who's adventurous and wants to try new things, and there's something I can do to achieve my goal. But if I wasn't really thinking about who I was consciously, then that opportunity might have passed me by and I might not have noticed it or I might have dismissed it as something that wasn't really relevant to me. So the mindset hack for this week is to come up with three non negotiable tasks at the start of the day, to help point you towards achieving your goals.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
